Sometimes we have to push ourselves, don’t we? If we want to progress or if we want to heal or if we just want to move forward we have to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone.
Today, I did just that. I’ve been asked to film a promo video for our local police force to support a massive radical change to policing. It was a massive honour to be asked but I initially felt sick and came up with a hundred reasons why I shouldn’t do it. Or more so, why I couldn’t!
As someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and Body Dysmorphia, I have a distorted sense of self. I don’t necessarily recognise myself in my reflection and I attack everything that I see. All the imperfections and everything I hate about the way I look.
After much procrastination and deliberation I just had to go for it. I have to say, I hated every minute of it! I must have recorded the video hundreds of times. Replayed it even more so and criticised every second of it but… I did it. It’s sent. It out there and it’s going to be shared with thousands of Officers.
I talk way too fast, I blink weirdly, Ive put on a lot of weight? I’m anxious but really, what’s the worst that can happen? I get a bit of a ribbing from my colleagues and friends? It’s bother me at first no doubt but it’ll soon be forgotten and they’ll be on to the next launch?
Today I really did take myself out of my comfort zone and the world didn’t end!