The voices in my head are trying to kill me

***Trigger Warning***

Do it.

End it.

There is that voice in side my head telling me to kill myself. To end it all.

Telling me I have taken my last breath on this earth. My heart has had its last beat.

I’m done.

I’m fighting against the urge to give in.

Trying to find reasons to fight.

I have no one to talk to. No one to help me.

‘No one will care’ she says.

‘They’ll be better off without you’

‘You’re worthless’ she tells me.

‘You just make people miserable’

‘They’re sick of you’

‘No one wants you’

‘You’re fat, you’re ugly’

‘No one loves you’

‘They don’t want you around, they won’t miss you’

‘They’ll get over it’

The voice inside my head playing it’s own little monologue of torment. Willing me to give in. Desperate for me to end my life.

Whilst I’m desperate to find the reasons not to. I feel like I’m failing. I’m coming up short.

For years I have fought this battle and I always hoped id win in some ways. But I’m losing.

I feel sometimes like that vindictive little voice may have a point.

Iv spent so long listen to that voice it’s like what she says has been drilled into my brain. Like she’s right, No one will care. No one will miss me.

I just want to scream. I don’t want to constantly fight the voices inside my head anymore. The constant belittling. The judging. The questions. The invalidation.

I can’t do it anymore.

Please just get the hell out of my head!

Let me me.